Five Years Plan
by LordRevanMandaloreofZutara
Summary: To celebrate our Constitution USA and Capitalism, I wrote a satire of Socialism and Bureaucrats. Warning: Mild Jet bashing.


**WARNING: The following story is a satire of Socialism and Bureaucracy. Any adherents to the principles of socialistic thought are encouraged to not read this story. If you do read it and are offended you have no one to blame but yourselves. Also, this is not meant to be an attack on Socialism. This is just me having fun and preparing for Constitution Day. The Founding Fathers rock!!!**

**Note: This story is a slightly humorized version of events that will take place in my Unionist Revolution story.** ** This story takes place somewhere in the late 60's to early 70's ASC.**

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**The Five Years Plan**

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**The Union of Free and Independent Elements**

Moving together, the five members of the jury return from their deliberations. After seating themselves, the leader hands a crystal to one of the guards. The woman takes the crystal over to the judge, who accepts it without comment. After gazing at the verdict, the judge focuses on the defendant and the rest of the courtroom. He then motions with his hand for them to rise. They do so.

"On the sole count of the indictment, possession of illegal substances in the first degree, how do you find the defendant?" The judge asks the jury.

The leader sticks out his hand, thumb pointed sideways. "Guilty your honor." There is a gasp from the courtroom as the defendant's relatives cry over the stupidity of their son, brother, cousin, nephew, grandson, and godson. The defendant himself can only gape in astonishment.

The judge nods once more, saying "The Court thanks the members of the Jury for its slow, and careful deliberation of these charges." There is only the faintest sardonic tint to his voice.

One of the jury members laughs and points to the defendant. "We would have been back an hour ago, but we stopped at the bar on the way here." The other jury members laugh at this, then start snickering at the defendant.

Ignoring the antics of the jury, the judge puts on his best smile. "Congratulations young man. You have just been enrolled in the Five Years Plan." There is another gasp from the audience, and several men and women faint. Not commenting on the Courtroom's antics, the judge presses on. "Where you will be subject to a soul crushing bureaucracy, subsistence level food, a government sponsored health care system, government issued jobs, a government issued house, and a big brother who will make sure you comply with the approximately 1,398,972,390,398,479 regulations that the bureaucrats have enacted just for drug users like you."

A man steps out of a door in the back of the courtroom and glares at the defendant. In a Ba Sing Se accent he states, "I am your overseer. If you make me mad I will crush you under the weight of many forms and paperwork. And if you truly piss me off I will call my friends in the IRS to audit you."  
The peanut gallery ohhs at that. "Harsh." The judge comments before motion a guard to take the defendant away.

**One Year Later**

Freezing and starving, the former defendant, known as Jet, crawls into a day labor camp from his cheap government provided house and government provided food. Moving along he punches in and begins to work. Fifteen hours later he exits his job and gets hit by a bus.

**A Week Later**

With his arm hanging on by a thread, Jet finally moves up to the reception desk for the injured employees bureau. Handing in the form, Jet wait patiently, all the while in agonizing pain, for an hour while the bureaucrat files the paper work. When the man finally returns, he informs Jet in a bored tone, "You will be seeing Dr. Lovely Handsome Hua Ley, an ophthalmologist."

"But I need to see an ER doctor!! My arm has almost fallen out of my socket!!" Jet screams.

The bureaucrat narrows his eyes at Jet and takes out his twitter phone thing. Jet gulps when the man presses the send button. Moments later, the front of the building opens to reveal Jet's overseer driving a dump truck. The overseer then yells at Jet. "We, the government, are paying for your health care. We say where you go and who you go to. Now, you will go see the amazing Dr. Lovely Handsome Hua Ley, and fill out these forms." He pulls a lever and Jet is crushed beneath several tons of paperwork.

**Three Years Later**

The overseer is home on his computer, typing on Facebook.

Overseer: //Guys, I need some help. Jet only has one more year left on his Five Years Plan then he goes free. How do I best make him suffer during that time?//

BureaucraticRobberBaron: //I will get my IRS people to audit him. Heck, I am glad you said something. Anytime we can make normal people's lives miserable and not do anything worthwhile is always appreciated.//

DMVEmperor: //Yeah, and get FD to come over here. A lot of the cars in the parking lot are getting dirty because it is taking their owners so long to get through. Plus, I have a praise report. I just succeeded in delaying one man's appointment by twenty seven years!!//

Overseer: //OMG!!! I bow down to you DMVEmperor.//

BureaucraticRobberBaron: //At last the Apprentice has surpassed the Master. Well done.//

**One Year Later**

"And I trust you will be devoted to Capitalism now and not breaking the law?" Jet snaps a salute to Overseer.

"Yes Sir! The Wealth of Nations will be my corner stone. I will not do drugs and will work hard, making lots of money."

Smiling, Overseer slaps Jet on the back. "That's my boy. Now go on. Make a living for yourself." Jet nods, then leaves the confines of Socialism.

When Jet is out of sight, Overseer sighs, and deletes his record. "One more victory for Free Enterprise."

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**I despise bureaucracy and socialism… **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in the world of Avatar**


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